I am going to be skinny. At least that is what I tell myself. I really do believe in my head one day I will be skinny enough to have at least a single digit size. That seems like a really pathetic goal when there are so many more pressing things I could be filling my time with. I would probably lose weight really fast if I was a missionary or doing some relief work. My lifestyle doesn't seem to support weight loss.
I am thinking about this because this is the weekend of birthdays. I have 2 friends who are celebrating and my daughter as well. Its cake as far as the eye can see. I have never met a cake I didn't like.......well maybe the kind with the fruits and nuts, but I'd still eat a piece. It can't even resemble anything healthy and be real cake.
Why am I spending so much time putting cake into categories anyway?
I think its because I can. If you ever see me at the gym ( good luck with that) I am probably thinking about how much cake I can eat after I get done.
So here I sit in my double digit pants. The problem is I have so much dang self esteem. I don't know how I ended up feeling so great about myself. I really try to dislike me, but its too hard. I have a lot more going for me than how far around I am. This is the struggle. I want to lose weight......if its easy. If not I am pretty cool the way I am until I am surrounded by skinny people. That may be the single motivator I have to lose weight. I hate being the fattest person in the room.
So I ate a lot of cake today. I passed my friend Lisel while I was smuggling some more home. I hope she is eating cake right now so I can feel better. If not, then I will just lay off for the next few days. I shall recommit to my work out plan. I shall fit into smaller pants. I hope I don't forget.
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