Monday, February 13, 2012

It makes you want to smash things

So I am on the Facebook today and I read about a friend who had a near miss with an $800 ticket. My initial reaction was relief. There won't be much partying with her if she is shelling out money like that to the local government. Someone else had posted a comment about her getting out of her ticket because she was pretty and my right eye twitched.

I read the rest of the comments and on my way to the next post I read the "pretty girl" comment again. This time my right eye and shoulder simultaneously twitched and a ball of anger began to grow in my insides.

I am usually a very confident person. I got loads of self esteem. Why else would I not be in some all fired hurry to lose all this baby weight? Nobody rocks the cellulite like this girl. But that little ball of anger began to grow and work its way all through my body. Now I want to smash things.

I mainly want to smash "pretty girls" who flirt to get out of a ticket. And when I say smash I mean bludgeon to death.

I know, I don't know where all this violence is coming from.

It probably has something to do with my husband being the one passing out the tickets. I have heard countless stories of classless stupid women who will hike up their skirts, cry, or do some other Oscar worthy performance to get out of a ticket.

I know what they could do, learn to drive.

Just the thought of some woman flirting shamelessly with my husband in order to manipulate him like he is some sort of circus monkey infuriates me. After all, that is my job.

So here is my message to "pretty girls". If you get caught breaking the law you had better break out your wallet and pay up. If I catch you flirting with my husband.....and believe me he will tell, I will hunt you down like the low life animal you are and pummel your face. If you are an ugly girl then...... I am sorry.

Whew! I am glad I got that out. All this violence makes me hungry.


Samantha Miller said...

Haha! That's awesome!

Samantha Miller said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Martina said...

Love your honesty! P.s. I'd send bail money to you if you needed it after rearranging faces :)

Lisa said...

yeah, and I heard that playing dumb works waaaaaaay better anyway;)