I am breaking up with the gym and I will tell you why.
I don't like it. Was that deep enough? I hate it. I have the attention span of a two year old when it comes to working out. Oh, I have all the good intentions of Mother Teresa just no follow through. I fall out of love with working out before I even get outta the parking lot. Before my sweaty back hits the driver's seat I know that the end is nigh.
I have all these grand notions of being a gym rat or a hard body. I tell myself I will go 5 times a week and work out every muscle until I puke. I take every newfangled class they have from boot camp to booty shaking and it seems like I am committed. I am really good at looking like I am into something when I am not. (Don't tell anyone) I have walked, run, biked, and elliptical machined myself until I can barely walk out of the gym but in a few short weeks I begin to get bored. I begin slowly talking myself into skipping a class or two. I tell myself I am just too tired today or that I will make it up the next day, week, year.....
And I am done. At 32 years of age I am shouting to the world that this girl, this pudgy, brownie lovin, donut eating, diet coke addicted WOman does not like exercise. I don't like sweat. I don't like being outside. I don't like unproductive exertion. Why am I running? Is someone chasing me? Where am I walking to and why can't I take the van?! I like my polygamists, Duggars and gypsies with a side of chips and salsa. I like my couch and I am not afraid to say it.
So here is my conundrum, I don't want to be a lard butt. How can you hate exercise and not be mistaken for Jabba the hut?
I do not know, but I am sure there is a way and I aim to find it. So goodbye gym for the last time. I really hope I don't get sucked in again. I hope I remember this confession the next time I think it would be fun to join a gym. I hope I can strike some balance between the food I love to eat and the pants I love to wear. I hope I don't end up needing one of those motorized wheel chairs to get around town because I can't stop eating Krispy Kremes.
I am going into uncharted territory here but at some point I have to stop lying to myself and work with what I've got. I will never be a gym rat. A mall rat maybe, but I will never be addicted to working out or drinking protein shakes or training for the 5k or feeling the burn. Its just not me and it never will be. Case closed.