The other woman

I am not a movie person. Yes, I am aware that the major hobby in this country is plopping one's self in front of a screen the size of Mt St. Helens and zoning out for three to four hours. I just can't do it though. My husband is a MAJOR movie guy. He is the guy who buys the movie before he has even seen it. He can sit for an entire day and do nothing but watch movies, eat and go to the bathroom. He calls that a good day. I, on the other hand, get really fidgety. I think about what I am exchanging these precious hours for. What if I hate the movie? I feel robbed. I could have been cleaning something or commenting on facebook or saving some third world country.

This is probably the reason I do not fully appreciate Dan the man's most recent purchase/love affair. I believe I am the victim of plasma infidelity. He goes out and buys this monstrosity of a flat screen plasma eyesore and mounts it above my lovely wooden mantle above my beautiful new fireplace. Why?! I know our tv was old and the connections were messed up and only one speaker worked, but really? We needed a 50 inch? Unfortunately it didn't end there. The new tv is very picky. Apparently it only likes HD shows. It is too good for regular old free tv channels aka rabbit ears.

Dan says we need internet and tv service hooked up. So I call up and get "affordable package" for internet and dish. Dan gets home and takes one look at the picture and says this will not do. Now we need "HD" package. So out comes the dish guy to upgrade us. Yay. Now I must hear ten times a day how clear the picture is. Really, he could almost reach out and eat that sandwich. Don't I see how the cars shine like real ones. I must notice the difference. It is far superior. But wait! His movies are not HD.

Now we need a new DVD player because the picture would be better on a blue ray player. It would also make his old DVD movies look better. Great. So now he has the blue ray player, the dish with the HD, the plasma monstrosity and a new blue ray movie obsession. I think I am officially a widow. I guess at Christmas time we could hang the stockings from the flat screen and decorate it with garland. I guess I will have to just imagine how great that mantle would look with all sorts of accessories from pier one. I hope he's happy!