Living on the edge

So in light of our current move, I thought I would blog about my most pressing concern. Bears. Since we are roaming gypsies for a few days due to some gap in the home buying process, we must live in the woods. Well, it isn't technically in the woods. It is actually in a single wide trailer decorated like a cute little rustic cabin. Ok, I can hang in "the cabin" for a few days. It isn't the digs that trouble me as much as the location. It is sort of in the woods, like where people go camping. I don't camp. As I often say, I don't DO nature.

This got me thinking about camping which reminded Dan of a super fun story about how he was once stalked by a mountain lion while hunting. This story did not inspire the courage I needed to sleep out in the semi-wild. He loves camping and anything outdoorsy. As a matter of fact that seems to be a very popular hobby out here. Camping. I just don't get it. Why would I voluntarily go and sleep on the ground outside? People then add that I can go get an air mattress to sleep on. Now again, why would I do that when I have a very expensive mattress at home? Also the bathroom issue confounds me. The things I have seen in the nature store that people will use to go scare me. I thought we made progress. I thought we were living and "going" indoors these days.

So I have to sleep with gun in hand afraid that a bear might think all of this baby weight, and yes I am still calling it baby weight, looks like a tasty midnight snack. I was not raised to camp. I was not raised to spend any unnecessary amount of time outdoors. Yes I was in the military, but that was short lived and most unpleasant. We travel and go to the beach.... a warm beach where you don't have to wear a wet suit to avoid hypothermia. I love Dan, but he can have the outdoors and all the lovely creatures that inhabit it. I prefer cartoon animals like smurfs. I can't even begin to understand the dichotomy of why I married a hunter. Things that make you go hmmmmmm. Anywho, if this is my last blog rest assured a bear ate me and my trigger finger hesitated. If not I will live another day.....inside.