Can you feel the love?

My marriage baffles many people. They scratch their heads, pity Dan, and light a candle for him at the altar of despair. They think to themselves how kind and meek Dan must be to deal with such a challenging wife. All of those people live on the West coast. On the East coast they wonder why I have not done him in yet.

This is my latest observation. Out here in the wild west it is a man's world. It is the chauvinist paradise. Did you know that where I live is the lesbian capitol of the country? This is not shocking news to me. Now in my generalizations that tend to irk people, there is always the exception. I know several nice good husbands that are from here. Two to be exact. They are wonderful loving men, but I am speaking about the majority of the guys I have met. And really, who cares? So what if men rule out here. It wouldn't make any difference to me if I hadn't been born into a family where the ladies outnumber the boys 500 to 1.

I think in the South ladies are kinda in charge. Aw, who am I kidding? We are in charge! The guys don't seem to mind. They get their houses cleaned, kids raised and food cooked. They get taken care of pretty well. I do these same things for my husband, but no one believes that Dan the man does nothing around the house. They think I work him like a slave. I think it has to do with me being so outspoken. The ladies here are much more proper and shy. They talk about the weather and rarely raise their voices and never, ever ever ever criticize their beloved husbands.

Now they do let their hair down once you get to know them, but I am completely without pretense. I like it that way. If I am angry you will know. There will be no guessing, which believe it or not is one of the things my poor abused husband likes about me. There is no reading between the lines to figure out what I want or meant by that look or long sigh that followed that cough.... You get the point. I am very take charge, which I also view as a strength. I guess what people don't understand out here is the sarcasm. It is really the first language in my family. Its like breathing, really.

Growing up I learned that if you were close to someone you could take a good joke. We as southerners don't go around taking shots at strangers.....to their faces, but if no one is making fun of you for something then you are not a member of the family. If someone hasn't threatened to end you for your smart mouth then you just aren't trying. Its like a sport, and believe it or not its healthy. We know we love each other. We know when something goes down we will be there for each other and when its over we'll have a good laugh.

So yes, I threaten my husband. I talk a whole lot of smack, I mean a lot, but we know who we are and where we stand. You gotta take everything with a grain of salt and see the humor in it. So if I have given you a nickname or made fun of you or mocked you then you are in. You're golden. If not, well... bless your little heart.