Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Getting to know you...

I keep seeing these posters on the interwebs.

"How to care for introverts"

"How to care for extroverts"

"Introverts vs Extroverts"

I read them, maybe laugh a little bit at the sly humor and cute cartoon but if I were to be completely honest ( which I am often compelled to be) they really get on my nerves. I don't know if that makes me an introvert, extrovert or just a jerk. I guess that is for you to decide. I get it. I like information as much as the next free thinker. What I don't like is a set of rules I should follow because you have taken to labeling yourself.

Boo! You are more than your social anxiety!

Which is not the same as being an introvert. I married an introvert. I LOVE many introverts. Not all of them cower in social settings or exhibit strange behaviors when confronted with small talk. My husband is an introvert and has to deal with the public on a daily basis. He also enjoys his down time. ALONE. A good number of my friends are introverts and they range from confident to shy. I am kinda like an introvert magnet I suppose. If I had to guess why I would say that we balance each other out. I can do most of the talking and planning while they do most of the thinking and reasoning. They like to tell me why my plans won't work or don't make sense and I like to tell them how cute puppies are or why rainbows are SO pretty and how mermaids definitely exist. I might just be a form of entertainment for them......

Either way, I don't think anyone is as simple as  a set of rules or guidelines. That's why you won't catch me posting about how to care for me. I don't feel like the world in general needs to know how to talk to me or when to give me compliments. I think its excellent to know about yourself. I am all for self inventory and understanding. Its also super helpful if you are a parent. Raising kids is hard work and knowing who they are can only help. What I dislike is how people feel like they need to inform me of who they are up front. I don't need to know "how" to approach or communicate with you. I use this old fashioned method. Its called time.

If you are in my life in some capacity I have taken the time to study you. I know your likes and dislikes. I know whether you are out going or socially awkward. I know if you tend to be a loner or love going to the mall. I listen when you talk. Its that easy. I don't need a personality profile or set of "suggestions" based on your four letter personality score. I don't need to be coached or guided in how to carefully deal with you so that I don't upset you. Guess what? I am probably going to upset you at some point. Its inevitable and its not because I ignored the guidelines. Its because we are all people. We HAVE to learn to deal with each other.

You are more than any test can ever accurately define. You are more complex than any poster can ever determine. Do not allow yourself to be pigeon holed. It's a spectrum yo.

So I can give you some quiet when you need it. I can learn to not take it personally when you don't want to hear about every solitary thought that passes through my fast moving brain. I can learn about you without any slide show. You can learn also. You can learn that I need to talk and that doesn't make me any less deep than you. You can give me the benefit of a response in a timely manner whether it be in conversation or in text. Don't leave me hanging in the wind. And we can all get along just fine.


Lisa Frey said...

An introvert would never need to blog a post like this. We'd just think it instead. As an extrovert youre probably making too big uh deal and you should be more sensitive...bahahaha (jk)
Yeah, I agree w you. Though I enjoy self introspection articulated in a funny caption or
comic, but I wouldn't define myself by a blurb birthed from psychological study or ten, because, intro or extro we're all wired different and I particularly resent being put in a box. I also dont expect others to "care" or walk on eggshells for me. Those blurbs i think are more pointed at how to recognize & respond to a personality type you dont 'get'. The truth is, most of us are paired with an opposite, like you said, either a spouse or friend, so at worst the memes are just redundant.

Lisa Frey said...
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