The Ginger

I hate the whole BFF thang. It smacks of high school exclusivity. No one should put that much pressure on one person to be their everything....well unless its Jesus. No one human can always be there for you or always know the right thing to say and if you are touting that idea then you are surely missing out on the multitude of people that God wants to send into your life. Some of them you don't even know you need until they get there.

To say that I am an emotional person is a massive understatement. It has unfortunately been my compass for a large portion of my existence. I mean, if I feel it then it should be true. Feelings don't lie.....or do they? I never second guessed my crazy irrational approach to life until I met one of those people that God was going to use to shape me. I never saw her coming.

First of all she is nothing like me. We share the same sarcastic sense of humor and she is smart as a whip but that is where the similarities end. She is a ten. Just gorgeous, which in my mind sealed the fact that we would never hang out. I was not going to spend time with someone who would constantly overshadow me. No one notices the cool girl's side kick. She just carries her books. Secondly, I am a nerd. Nerds are not supposed to care about buying clothes and facial peels. I could not even begin to know what to talk to her about. I was a much deeper person than that. I had my smarts to get through life which somehow made me morally superior. I had her pegged, or so I thought. We sang together almost every Sunday at church. We practiced together once a week and I just kept my distance. She would make these off the wall comments. They were either blunt or insensitive and I was sure she hated me. My feelings told me so. Her outfits were perfect. Her hair was perfect. She was successful and talented. I just shrank. She was the total package and I just felt more and more inept. It was high school all over again.

She started asking to hang out and I was so confused that I agreed. For the first time I entertained the notion that I might have this person all wrong. Sometimes she seemed nice. Other times she seemed angry or put off or whatever. I couldn't keep up. I couldn't read her and it drove me  insane. Bit by bit the Lord was opening the emotional blinders I had worn for so long. I started to study her. I listened intently to what she said, how she said it and came to a conclusion only to have that conclusion completely overturned within seconds. I would test her. I waited until I thought she was furious with me and attempted small talk. She smiled and seemed friendly. I was baffled, I was intrigued. I wanted to know more about this person that evaded all my diagnosing. She blew all my stereotypes out of the water. She was beautiful, smart, popular and at the same time funny, sweet, and sincere. She could even hold a conversation. She had actually read books. I was in real trouble. There are hot smart people?! How unfair.

Over the next few months I decided to do something revolutionary to my own thinking. I was not going to assume. I was not going to react until I had something to react to. I wanted to be her friend but was still sure she had too many to want to be mine. So I made the next logical step and moved in across the street. We began spending more time together. I began to understand her but not by trying to interpret her mood and emotions. It was even more strange than that. I had to listen to what she was saying......and believe it. I couldn't go on deciding what she meant so I started asking. The more questions I asked the closer we grew. We were a regular item. I met her family and more and more of the mystery unraveled. I watched the way she bantered with her sisters. It was the same way she talked to me and here I was thinking she was mad. It blew my mind. Finally on one of our visits she informed me that if she didn't want to hang out with me she wouldn't. There was no pity or charity going on. She was genuinely interested in being my friend. I finally started to get it.

My friend has taught me a lot about assumptions. She has taught me a lot about the differences in people. We can be different and still be close. I think the relationships between these opposites are often the closest. She has caused me to reevaluate the way I judge people and in the process show me that I can take pride in my own appearance and it in no way diminishes my brain. It just makes me easier to look at. I don't want to think what my life would be like if I had let my fear of rejection and insecurity rob me of this friend. She is so different from me yet she is my equal. I love her wit and sheer stubbornness. I love her terribly blunt comments and diatribes. I love her family like my own and I am thankful that she has adopted me into her clan.

 It really shows that we have no clue what we need, but God certainly does. He knew I needed a sister to challenge me and occasionally kick my butt. He knew I needed someone to help me change. He also knew I needed a friend who was made of good stuff. He delivered like he always does. She's a keeper. Now where is that kleenex........