Fruit flies and stank

So my neighbor has these fruit flies that mysteriously show up every few months. No one knows why they are there or from whence they came, but they are annoying as your mother in law. She claims they come from the garbage disposal. Yes, she thinks fruit flies come into existence from her garbage disposal and then disperse through the house via water pipes. Its almost enough for Ripley's. It could just be that she likes to leave old fruit and food sitting about, but that would make her look like a bad house keeper. So we go with the disposal. That nasty den of fruit fly iniquity.

Apparently the only way to rid yourself of the frat house of fruit flies hold up in your sink is to pour noxious chemicals down the drain. I am sure we have all suffered at her hand due to ground water contamination, but we must be rid of the flies. She says is works every time. I am supposed to ignore the fatal flaw in that reasoning because I want to stay friends. I mean if it really worked.......

nevermind.

So she traipses out to the garage and grabs the nearest bottle of insecticide she can find, throws caution to the wind and dumps it down the drain. Of course she runs some water for good measure and leaves to go and dump chemicals down the upstairs sinks. About then her 6 year old walks through the kitchen, and as I gasp for air I instruct her to run and warn her mother not to dump anymore chemicals down the drains because I am pretty sure there is smoke and the worst smell ever ascending her drain pipe. My neighbor, who is now sitting outside with me, disregards my complaints and says it isn't that bad until one at a time her family comes down the stairs driven outdoors coughing and waving their arms complaining of  a stench that smells like gasoline and flatulence. The poor cat even comes down to investigate looking high as a kite and ready to faint. One by one they file into the back yard, faces twisted, and gagging. She has not only probably killed the flies, but gassed her children in one felled swoop. They they are all instructed by her brother in law to quit whining and get back in the house. Its dinner time. Yum.

I hope they sleep with the windows open tonight. I now have a headache which no doubt was caused by inhaling chemicals. If you would only listen once in a while Lisel. If my baby does indeed develop a third eye as you so callously joked I am sending you the doctor bill for its removal. Sleep well.