What the heart wants

Someone very close to my heart is going through a valley. A deep proverbial valley. The kind that they don't make a greeting card for. The kind that is hard for people to comprehend. You just kinda pick your jaw up off the floor and have no idea what to say.

Partly you feel lied to.....because mostly you were. You think you know someone, but how much can we truly know anyone? We only see what they want to show us. You never know what lurks in the recesses of the heart until someone lets you in. Even then sometimes you don't have the ability to handle it. I think thats what happened. I think my friend had a secret that was too hard to tell. It was the look on the faces of family and friends that she feared. It was the loss of something she regarded as precious. It was heartbreaking and it looked like a losing situation from every angle.

My heart hurts for her. I can't imagine holding this secret with no one who would understand. Wanting to come clean, but not being able to find your way out. You end up isolated and guilt ridden. Surrounded by people yet alone. You have to give up what you love to gain everything and hope people will forgive you. Most of all you hope it was worth it. You don't ever want to find yourself there again.

I pray for her. I pray that she can come to understand herself better. I pray that she can experience grace. I hope she can look other people in the eye and know we are all the same. Everyone of us full of dark things and wrong needs. We are all a mess. But at the end of the day God forgives and loves us. He knows our secrets and is only waiting for us to come to him for help. He wants to fill up the empty places. We just cause pain and hurt when we try to do it alone.

And none of us is ever alone.