Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Arms are important

Since my husband, in his tireless war against crime and injustice, became a one armed wonder I have started to appreciate further the use of my two fully operational arms. There are many things one cannot accomplish with only one arm. Here are a few that I have noticed since Dan the man's accident.

1. You cannot drive a car with one arm. I am sure there are special vehicles just for folks who really only have one arm, but Dan has a stick shift. Not sure how that's gonna happen. So I am now his chauffeur.

2. You cannot tie your shoes with one arm. I never noticed how every pair of shoes this man owns has laces. Not one slip on or velcro pair in sight.

3. You cannot cut your own meat with one arm. I am now cutting meat for everyone at my table. If you come over I will gladly cut yours too.

4. You cannot change a diaper with one arm. This one really hit me. I am now the sole diaper changer. Crap.

5. You cannot mow your lawn with one arm. Now this one I refuse to do. He has enough friends and we know enough money hungry teenagers to pull this one off. It would be nice if we didn't have to pay someone, but if that's what it takes to keep this golf course in order then so be it. I am not cutting grass. I will cut meat, but not grass.

So there you have just a few of the things we are encountering this week. Be thankful if you can use all your limbs. I sure am and if you have had an injury like this before any advice on how not to lose my mind would be great.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Perhaps your one armed wonder could use a pair of scissors to cut his meat. And, since he has so much time on his hands he might use those same scissors to do the lawn