There is no place like inside

We are not outdoor people. By we I mean me and all my offspring. It must be in the genes because you could not make up the stuff I experienced today. We decided to take our circus to the lake for some outdoor fun. Now I firmly believe there is no such thing, but in an effort to raise well rounded children I acquiesced. What happened after that I could not have anticipated.
Of course Vanessa had to ask every 5 minutes of our 45 minute drive if we were almost there yet. Once we finally arrived we discovered that the lake we chose was already occupied by huge fat black ants. Logan immediately went into hysterics. I mean screaming, refusing to walk, running in a serpentine pattern. I had to remove him to the van until he calmed down. Picture someone high stepping like the cement was burning their feet. This is what he did all the way back to the van. I struggled not to laugh, but I swear to you this was the funniest thing I have seen in a looooong time.
Vanessa's little casperesque body was in need of some sunblock. I felt confident in my choice plucked right out of a women's magazine. It was a spray version that requires no rubbing. Perfect. So I hose her down. Then I do her face. So I tell her to close her eyes and I will lightly mist her face. She immediately starts screaming. "My eyes hurt!" So I pick up the can and what does it say. "Do not spray into face". Awesome. So I tell her to go wash her eyes out in the lake. She goes to wash them out and got sand in them. So for the rest of the afternoon I got to hear about the sunblock and sand in their eyes.
Lorelai was teething so she was in a great mood and Dan said the water in the lake was near polar temperatures. It took about 20 minutes for everyone to calm down from our initial shock of entering nature, but after that we had a great time and no one wanted to come home. Maybe we should go outside more often. Maybe camping next or maybe the mall. Baby steps.....