And then there were 4

So I had another baby. It went well. Having a 4th C-section was a scary proposition. I mean it is, as my mother frequently reminds me, major surgery. I went to the hospital a little more calm this time around. The other times were a lot more stressful. I couldn't sleep the night before. I panicked as they wheeled me into the operating room. This time I was strangely relaxed. No tears as they rolled me down the hall. No shaking or freaking out. I have to say this was the best one yet.

As usual I was up walking that evening. I have to get up and walk the day of my surgery. Believe it or not the more you lay around after a C-section the worse you feel. You gotta get up and move. I am recovering well, but as I do I start to look around and realize all that is mine to govern when Dan the man returns to work. Four children is easy when there are constantly 2 parents around. What happens when its just me? I am seriously outnumbered. What happens when we start school again? I just don't know.

Its time to make a new normal. Things just aren't going back to the way they were. There is a whole new person to account for. That and the major lack of sleep. Infants can be tough, but they are so dang cute. There will be the schooling and cooking and cleaning. There will be potty training a willful toddler and changing diapers. There will be restraining the boy after he watches Kung Fu Panda and tries to karate chop and leap off all my furniture. There will be arguing with the 9 soon to be 10 year old that she does indeed need to know math. There will be a sleepover as the 9 year old is about to be 10. And there will be lots and lots of coffee. It could get crazy.

I am up for it.... I think. There is no going back anyway. There are four of them and I am happy about that. Just don't ask me if I'm done. I am in no state of mind to answer that question. I will cross that bridge when Valerie is around 2. Until then I will be busy figuring out what normal looks like from here on out. We will make it up as we go along, which is what I normally do anyway. Now if I could only stop calling them the wrong names. I wonder if this is how the Duggars feel......