Thoughts on getting old.....

I am not afraid of thirty, probably because I turned 31 this year. I wasn't afraid of thirty at 29 either though. I am just not scared of getting old. I wonder if its a regional thing. I always heard people on the west coast were very superficial. This was usually being told to me by some overdone southern bell with hair that would rival the space needle. So if no one owns it then it must be an individual choice. I guess what we fear is always unique to us. I do not fear ageing, but I certainly can't watch crime dramas. I would like to be deep and say its some kind of choice or environmental conditioning, but sometimes its just in us. Its a deep thing like whether you are a coke or a pepsi girl. Its that ingrained.

If I wanted to, I guess I could start categorizing fears to make mine sound like they aren't my own choice. I could say being afraid of ageing is solely vain and that being afraid of Freddie K. is somehow encoded in my DNA. I could do that, if I wanted, but I won't. And even if I did I am not one hundred percent sure that I would have any takers to my theory. So I will try to go easy on you perpetual youth people. Even if it is all complete nonsense.

I couldn't wait for thirty. Somehow saying that you are a grown woman when you are 25 or so sounds a bit ridiculous. No one takes you seriously. Not even other people in their 20s. There is some unexplainable clout attached to thirty. Its almost as if you have arrived at grown-upville. As soon as that time card says 3-0 you now have something to say. You have finally lived long enough to start contributing the collective of knowledge. You can cast a knowing look at young-uns( those who are 29 and below) and shake your head at their foolish ideas because you, my friend are not to be trifled with. You are 30. You have things to say and enough candles on the cake to back it up.

So when hear people older than me bemoan growing older I am genuinely confused. I think getting older should be celebrated. Isn't that why we have those parties and cakes every year? Aren't we saying its a good thing we are still around? I think life has gotten a bit more hectic, but perspective can fix anything. Perspective is a precious tool you don't have when your face is wrinkle free and gravity and not shown you who is boss yet. It is the ability to see the big picture and that gift grows each year we grow. We can be the wise parents and grandparents our kids need. Not that they listen to anything we say, but rest assured when they figure out we were right it haunts them. I want to haunt my kids and grand kids. I want them to say "Crap! She was right about everything!" At least that way they will know that I really was looking out for them.

As for the outside....well that is gonna change. It doesn't mean I have to though. I am gonna get wrinkles and whatever else comes with being a granny, but I am also gonna get grandkids. Hopefully those smile lines will remind me of how many good times I have had. I think it will be a blast when I get to the age that no one really expects me to be trendy anymore. I will wear any old moo moo I want and get away with it. I won't be expected to be nice or look where I am driving. I expect a certain amount of freedom as an old lady. I want seniors discounts and to walk as slowly as possible because I am never in a hurry. I do understand there are some drawbacks to being elderly, but there are negatives to any positive. You just gotta decide what you are gonna look at. I am gonna look at giant hats and purses with tiny dogs to fit inside and pretending like I don't hear you when you talk. I am gonna say out loud how big your butt looks in those jeans and remind you that you ain't 30 no more. I am gonna have a blast, kinda like now.