I have a child with long beautiful fingers and she doesn't want to play piano. I, on the other hand, have short stubby fingers that will probably never be able to master the reach necessary to play my favorite Garibaldi tunes. I have forced her for an entire year...maybe a year and a half to take piano lessons. She has the gift. I just know it. Even her teacher says she is a quick study and could be really good, but she still hates it.
I always wanted to learn the piano. My mom can sort of play, but she never tried to teach me. It seems so sophisticated and worldly. I love classical piano, jazz piano.....anything but honky tonk. That isn't even really music, but be sure I love piano. I love people who play piano. If you play piano I love you too. Vanessa is probably indifferent to you, but I love you. I guess its time to stop trying to live vicariously through my child. I never thought I would be that kind of parent. I thought I would be the perfect kind, but that, like my piano aspirations is turning out to be pure fantasy. I wish I could convince her of the musical gold that is piano. I wish I could explain to her how these lessons are going to make learning just about any other instrument that much easier. I wish, at eight years old, she could understand this really is a good thing for her and I am not a controlling monster, but she has too much of her father in her for that. She either likes it or she doesn't and there isn't any argument in the world that will change her mind, unless of course she changes it for herself. Then its a splendid idea. The only one who can convince her is herself.
So I am at a sad crossroad. I know what I am going to do. I am going to stop forcing piano on her and hope one day she will revisit the piano and fall madly in love and play all day for me taking requests. Or she will never play again and I will cry and hoist as much maternal guilt on her as my old lady frame allows. I hope and pray she chooses to play though. Her father has changed his mind on precious little since I have known him, but there have been occasions where he has argued himself into something he dismissed. Maybe its just that she is young or that she is the spawn of Dan the man. I believe it to be the latter. Dan the man tries to convince me that maybe the other two will play piano and be wonderful at it. That would surely tick Vanessa off. She would most definitely not ever play again if her brother proved to be some prodigy.
I guess we are headed back to swim class then. She loves swim class. She still can't swim either. We have been paying for swim lessons for years now and she still flails around in the water like a fresh caught fish. It is kind of embarrassing to watch, but she is happy and I only have myself to blame for her lack of coordination. She comes by it honest. I would have liked to pass on my love of music instead of my spastic lack of athleticism, but I didn't get to choose. I guess its just one more thing ticked off the list of things she can possibly hate me for as an adult. I am sure she will have plenty left if I let go of piano. She probably has a going list already.
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