Love child

I love my kids, but they look nothing like me. Yes I know when you look at the girls you see me. Its perfectly natural to think that a daughter will resemble her mother, but mine don't. Everyone thinks they look like me because Dan the man looks nothing like he did as a child. Vanessa is the spitting image of little Danny. To a T. Just picture Vanessa with short hair. Yes its kinda weird, but if you do you will have little Dan. Even Dan didn't believe me when I first revealed his clone to him. No way, she looks just like you. Maybe in some other universe, but in this one she is Dan. So I had to pull out the pictures. I must be the only one who took a mental record of Dan's childhood, because I sure as heck wasn't there. All I have is the pictures that Dan's mom strangely dumped in my lap about 10 years ago. Spring cleaning? I don't know, but if my kids ever want their pictures they are going to have to invent a time machine and go back and take their own.......or copy mine. Either way is fine, but mine are mine.

So yeah the girls look like Dan. There have been many theories on who Logan looks like. Most often mentioned is the non-existent milk man. Really? I would be stepping out with a dude who delivers milk door to door? Was Hugh Jackman not available that day? I digress. Yes Logan is Dan's child and I am not the whore of Babylon people seem to think I am because my boy is a red head. People get very passionate about Logan not being Dan's. Dan gets all kinds of comments and jokes even from his own family. Which I secretly think are not jokes, but an assault on my character, but that is a whole other blog.

This all came to a ridiculous head when a walmart cashier asked me if all my kids had the same dad. I get it. Logan looks adopted. I am thinking of having a paternity test done just so Dan can carry it around in his wallet. It didn't help that Lorelai came out looking like a smaller version of Vanessa, who is a smaller version of Dan. Poor Logan. I don't think that he gets that people think he is from another dad or family all together. What, was there some "adopt an Irish baby" commercial that just brought me to tears. All those babies and not enough Guinness to go around?! So for the last time, Logan is Dan's and I am pretty sure he is mine being that we shared a body for nine months. I don't know where he gets his red hair. No one, despite all the claims from both sides of the family, knows where he got his red hair from. It makes him special and I am sure the chicks are gonna love it.